Pain and Hope
by TeamJ.Black
Summary: After losing it all, Troy finally loses it. Gabi tries to be his hope. Please R&R My summaries suck
1. Chapter 1 Pain

Pain.

If there was one word in the world to describe my life, that word sums it all up in a nut shell. Pain; pain for the loss of my mother, pain for the loss of the sister I never got to know, pain for the loss of my father.

I've always wondered when the saying 'life's tough' just doesn't apply anymore. I believe it's when life has been so hard on you, you give up hope.

Hope.

That's another one of those funny little four letter words. Hope is something is another thing I've lost. Hope, I've never known it since the day I turned four. That was the day I lost my father- mentally.

How could two four letter words describe my life?

I'm Troy Bolton. I'm eighteen, though how I managed to survive that long is a mystery to me. Just like how those two words could define everything my life is and isn't.

I've never considered suicide. I know most people going through a situation like this would have started thinking about it as soon as they learned what it was. Not me, huh, guess I have some hope in me after all.

"TROY!"

The sound of my name interrupted my thoughts. Strange, I usually never have enough time to think that hard.

"TROY!"  
Shit. That's twice he said my name. Two times the pain.

I run downstairs as fast as I can; skipping two or three steps at a time. The sharp pain on my side from last nights beating makes me want to stop pushing myself so hard. But that same pain is also my motivation to get down the stairs faster.

"Sir?" I asked, knowing better to refer to my father as dad.

"About damn time, I want the lawn mowed and the house cleaned up before six, then I want you to be on that court practicing by the time I walk out there."

I glanced at the clock behind him; four in the morning. Cool I got to sleep in an hour later.

I got all my chores done in a record time for me. I still had fifteen minutes to spare. I knew better than to do anything he hasn't told me to do, or to go to my room and rest for the time left. I went out to our drive way and started to practice, hoping I'd get on his good side for starting early.

I was wrong. I missed two of my twenty free throw shots. Each shot missed to him, means longer suicides. Right after you miss the shot though, was when he liked to lash out on me. I've learned to detach myself from the experience. I still feel the pain, after a while. I no longer feel him beating on me though.

I run into school right as the tardy bell rings: great way to start my first day off right? Of course everyone is used to me coming to school late. I'm the head coach's kid, whatever he says goes.

Everyone is used to seeing me in a jacket and pants, even in the ninety degree dry weather. No one's ever questioned me, except once, in ninth grade. My dad overheard them, he made up a lame excuse for the kid to go to detention, then accused me of trying to get him in trouble. He made sure, in his way, that I never got any ideas about saying anything.

I walk into my homeroom, surprised to see the seat I usually sit at being occupied. Everyone at school, by now, knows not to get in my way, or daddy dearest will figure out a way to give you detention.

When he realized that he can cause me more pain by taking away the few friends I had, that's when I lashed out at him. He took the knife he had in his hand from cutting up something for dinner and stabbed me a little bit above my stomach. He took me to the hospital and told them I ran into him and the knife, not paying attention. They believed him, I was lucky; he didn't hurt any of my vital organs. I still have the scar for that; along with a lot of others.

I walked up to the person in my seat and realized I've never seen her before. Considering my graduating class has about three hundred, I've seen just about every senior in the school. I took the seat next to her, not wanting her to think I'm a jerk on her first day here. Of course, she'd hear the false stories about me and come with the conclusion herself.

She looked up from looking from her schedule and looked around the class room. She had long, wavy brown hair and was very small. She was also very pretty, I realized with a pang of jealousy. I could never date her, could never talk to her. When she looked at me I put my head down and acted like I was taking notes or something.

Homeroom ended and I ran out of the room. I had free period first thing in the morning. I explained to the principle that with basketball, I never had time to do homework, and having first period off would allow me some much needed time to catch up. He bought the lie.

Truthfully, I just wanted one hour away from my world. I found a garden that green club had on the top of one of the roofs of the buildings my sophomore year. Ever since I found it I spent my free period up there. I wanted free period the first hour of the day, because after my dad's morning wake up call the tranquility of the place is very welcoming.

The day flew by, I saw the girl in two other of my classes. Gabriella Montez. I like that name. My fifth hour was basketball PE. Thankfully when I miss a shot at school he can't touch me. I can tell he hates it. I know later he'll make me pay for those missed shots, but while at school I can at least pretend to be a normal guy practicing.

I didn't want to go to the noise of the cafeteria, so I went to my retreat area. When I got there I noticed I wasn't the only there. She was there too.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, my voice sounding way harsher than I wanted it to be.

She jumped. "Sorry, I didn't think I wasn't allowed up here, I got lost and I'll….just.. go"  
She started to frantically gather up her stuff. I didn't want her to leave. Surprisingly, this was the one place my father thought to look for me. I wanted to talk to her.

"No, don't go," My voice giving away too much of the loneness I was feeling inside, "This area is opened to everyone."

She visibly relaxed, but still moved as if to leave. Before she hit the stairs she turned towards me and asked, "You're the basketball guy?"  
I winced inwardly. I got that name for being the coach's golden basketball kid.

"I guess what they say isn't true."

Now that got my attention. No one has ever heard the rumors about me and acknowledged them as false.

"How do you figure?"

She walked towards me now.

"Your eyes, my mom always tells me that if you want to know the truth of a person, look at their eyes. I've seen truly mean, stuck-up guys and what's in your eyes, is the far opposite from what you see in theirs."

I just looked at her. She blushed and then turned around to leave.

"Wait," I called out. "Please stay."

For some reason, the past years of loneliness suddenly hit me full force. I was tired of my dad pushing people away from me, thinking I don't deserve happiness because he's not happy.

I sat down on the bench and motioned for her to sit by me.

"I'm Gabriella." She said while sitting down.

"Troy Bolton."

"I've seen you in a few of my classes…."

For the rest of the lunch period we sat their, and talked mainly about our first day as senior, her first day here, and what she thought about the teachers. When the bell rang, I didn't want to go anywhere. But I knew this bliss wasn't meant to last.

"I had fun Troy, thank you."

Before I had a chance to think I blurted out, "Would you like to meet me up here again tomorrow?"

She smiled, "I'd love to."

"What time do you have free period?"  
"First."

Perfect. "Meet me up her first period tomorrow."

She nodded and left.

I felt myself smile; amazed that I actually could. I had a date with Gabriella tomorrow; my first date. For the first time ever, I wanted to go home so I could think of the perfect date for her.

**Next Chapter up tomorrow if I get enough reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2 Pain

When I got woken up at four the next morning, I felt happy. Even my when my dad hit me, it wasn't that bad. I couldn't wait for Gabriella's and I mini date. I was later than normal for homeroom so I could get a few things set up on the roof. When I walked into the room I felt people staring at me. They've never seen me give the faintest hint of a smile, so my face probably did shock them.

As I went to sit down, Gabriella turned towards me and said, "Hey Troy."

Thankfully the teacher chose that moment to start talking. I didn't want her to get in trouble with my dad for talking to me. I knew I needed to tell her at least the part about my dad getting everyone I talk to in trouble, but I didn't want to.

Homeroom dragged on. When the bell rang, I ran out of the room knowing I'll have to make up an excuse for that. I all but ran to the top of the roof. Thanks to my speed, and knowledge of shortcuts, I had about five minutes before Gabriella arrived.

"Troy" She said awed looking at the table I set up. I told the cafeteria ladies I was hungry so I could set up a breakfast without my dad getting suspicious. I cut a few of the flowers around in the garden and put them as a center piece. It was simple, but it was the best I could do without my dad's attention. He's going to hear from the cafeteria workers about my appetite and get suspicious but the look on Gabriella's face was worth it.

"Thank you." She said, and then sat down at one end of the table.

Today we talked more about our lives. Our hobbies, favorite colors, bands, TV shows. I tried to keep the inevitable conversation of our parents off for as long as possible, but with fifteen minutes to the bell, she brought it up.

"What do you're parents do?"  
I cleared my throat deciding on telling as close to the truth as possible. "My mom died when I was younger, she had a weak heart and it couldn't handle the birth of a second child. My little sister died the day after my mom had her. My mom died within the hour after having her. My dad, as you know is the head coach here."

"I'm sorry," she told me, then put her hand on top of mind. That was, I realized, the first sign of physical comfort anyone has given me since I was four.

"Why do you wear jackets all the time?" She asked out of no where.

"I like them, they're comfortable." I said.  
"In one hundred degree heat?" She asked not believing my lie. "Can you take it off?"

"Why?" I asked truly confused.

"I don't know, I guess I want to see if you have arms." She told me jokingly.

The bell rang. I used that as a distraction and helped her up and told her I'd see her in class. When she asked why I didn't walk with her, I shrugged and said I had to clean up. She accepted my lie and left promising me we'd continue talking at lunch.

I sighed, thinking how long I could avoid the inevitable.

Not long, I found out at lunch that day. She 'accidently' spilt water on my jacket. I didn't want to, but I thought it would be strange sitting with a wet jacket on. So I took it off, making sure my sleeves of my shirt hid the bruises on the upper part of my arms. Those, I knew where the worst.

As soon as she saw my lower arms she gasped. Most of the bruising was faded, but there were one or two recent bruises, unfortunately they had to be huge.

"What happened?"

"A trip over my feet playing basketball and fall on my arms, I fell on a bike recently." I lied, hoping she'd buy it.

She moved her hands over the worse of the two arms. Without me realizing it she lifted up the sleeve of my shirt. I heard her gasp and knew what she saw, a huge, red, angry welt where my dad hit me with his belt he hand in his hands this morning.

Before I could stop her she lifted up the sleeve on my other arm and saw the hand print mark where my dad beat me yesterday afternoon.

She grabbed my face and made me look at her.

"Troy, who did this to you?" She asked calmly.

**A/N: I know it's short, next chapter will be longer and the story will start picking up speed. **

**Thanks for the reviews! And for favorite-ing my story! Please review I'll post the next chapter tomorrow if I get enough reviews **


	3. Chapter 3 Pain

I didn't respond, I couldn't. I was debating whether or not to tell her, when I found myself say, "Promise me you won't tell anyone."

She nodded.

"My dad."

She nodded again.

After a minute she finally said, "I promise I won't tell anyone, but tomorrow, you'll tell me everything, okay? If he hurts you today or tomorrow promise me you won't hide the scars."

I nodded.

"And Troy.."

I looked back down at her.

She reached up and lightly kissed my lips.

"I think you are a remarkably strong person." And with that, she left.

Over the next few months, I started to know what hope felt like. I had hope that all my pain will finally be gone when I leave for college. With Gabi I always felt happy. I always had hope.

We would meet every morning and at lunch and either talk, or joke or do homework; those meeting were the highlight of my day. With my father getting harder on me now that seasons about to start, what Gabi and I talked about kept me going.

At first, it was hard to open up and tell her anything about my past. I was ashamed of my life. I was also afraid; afraid that one day I would get mad and lose it. I was scared that one day she was going to say something that would push me over the edge.

After a month, I braved up and asked her if she would like to date me.

_"Gabi, can I ask you something?" I asked, feeling my stomach in my throat._

_We were both sitting on the bench, her head laying on my shoulder, my arm wrapped around her waist._

_She looked up at me, "Anything."_

_Before I could talk myself out of it "Would you be my……girlfriend? I know we'd never get to go anywhere, I know you couldn't tell anyone, so no one would know, and.." I said in a rush._

_She put a finger on my lips and smiled, "I would know. Yes Troy, I'd love to."_

I hated that I couldn't take her out anywhere, but oddly enough she didn't seem to mind. She told me that our hour on the roof was better than any date. When she told me that, I could see that she meant it.

Today marks five months since she said yes. I used the occasion as a reason to do something nice for her.

I woke up an hour before my dad would want me up. I took my dad's keys to the gym and the back door of his office and ran as fast as I could. I had everything I needed in my backpack.

Thankfully, I live about a ten minute jog from school. I ran the whole ran so I got there in seven.

After getting in, I went straight to our roof. I checked the green club's schedule and they don't meet up there until the afternoon. I know the janitor cleans up at night, but it was three so he should be done. No one should be going up there.

I set up the makeshift table (two small cardboard boxes with one of the throw blankets my mom loved on top). I cut some flowers from the garden and put them in my makeshift vase (a plastic cup I managed to take from the teacher's lounge when my dad wasn't looking). At the bottom of that stairs leading up, on the wall, I put a sticky note with 'Gabi' on the front of it and 'You know what today is?' on the back. I put another one on the top of the staircase but on the back it read 'Five months ago you said yes"

I put sticky notes on the path that lead up to where to table was. In the end, the notes formed the statement, "You know what today is? Five months ago you said yes. With that one word you gave me hope. I thank you for that. And I just want to say….."

I planned on finishing the statement myself.

I locked up, and left. I arrived home with fifteen minutes to spare. Thankfully, my dad doesn't really wake up until four.

After homeroom, I was so excited and nervous, I ran to the greenhouse. I wanted to make sure everything was in place. After a minute, I heard her walking up the stairs. I heard her pausing.

When she read the last note, the note a foot away from the table, she looked up at me.

"Gabriella Montez, I think I'm falling for you." I said really meaning it. In truth, I know I was already in love.

She just stood there, not moving, or even blinking. I suddenly felt like an idiot. My heart sunk.

"Troy Bolton, I think I already fell for you."

That wasn't at all what I expected to hear. Without realizing I was doing so, I found myself running towards her.

I pulled her close to me and kissed her. This one somehow was different than any other time we kissed. This time, neither of us was holding back. This kiss, the world seemed to disappear, leaving only her and me.

"Troy Bolton, please report to the head coaches office."

Reality came at me hard. That one sentence had me going from a state of euphoria, to a state of pure dread. I felt like hitting something for the bad timing.

"I have to go," I whispered regretfully, our foreheads touching.

I kissed her one more time, and started down the stairs.

"Do you want to tell me what this is?" My father said with clenched teeth.

He threw a photo of something on the table: A photo of Gabi and I on the roof one day laughing.

How did he get that?

Then the answer hit me: cameras.

Why didn't I think of that? Then again, why was my dad in the room where the security cameras feed to some TVs?

I didn't get to think to hard about that, a hand came in contact with the right side of my face. The blow was enough to knock me off balance.

He grabbed my left arm and yanked me closer to him.

"Damn it! I asked you a question. What the hell is that?" He pointed towards the picture.

"I didn't tell her anything, I swear."

"I didn't tell her anything I swear." He said in a high pitched tone, mocking me, "That is bullshit and you know it! What did you tell her?!?!" His face was red.

"Nothing, sir" I said, replying in my detached voice.

Another blow to the right side of my face.

"I'm surprised I let you live this long, you piece of shit."

He pushed me hard into the trophy case. Something heavy fell on top of my head and made me see stars.

I saw him take a deep breath, surprised at the action. "Tell you what, I'm feeling nice today, do me a favor drop the whore and I won't beat you within an inch of your life."

No, I thought, anything but that. We'd just have to find a new spot. Yeah I thought calming down; just find a new place to meet, preferably without cameras.

I went to walk out before he could cause me further harm. I could taste blood running into my mouth from my nose.

"I took the liberty of scheduling another PE for you during first period. You need the practice." He said calmly, like nothing just happened, as if I were just another student.

"And," he continued on, "I signed you up for a community service project every afternoon and all day during the summer, we have to start thinking about your future you know?"

I felt my hands curl into fist. Son of a bitch, he could give a flying fuck less about my future! I turned around and started heading towards him thinking maybe if I hit him hard enough in the head he'll hemorrhage or something.

He stopped me by saying, "If you talk to the slut again, don't doubt that I'll suspend her. I bet she'd just love that on her permanent record." With that, he turned back to his work.

All the color left my face.

He finally won, I thought as I walked out. He finally managed to make me consider suicide.

Why not? I have to break up with Gabi. No, she's going to break-up with me. I can't talk to her anymore; she's going to think I stood her up during lunch today, first period tomorrow. She's going to hate me.

So what's the point of living anymore?

As I walked home, I tried hard to think of one reason to continue my life; one good reason to keep going.

By the end of the twenty minute walk, I came up with nothing. I thought about things I'd have to look forward to: nothing. Even going to college and playing ball I'd still be haunted by my father. I thought about what would happen when I was gone, who would miss me: no one; certainly not my dad. One thought that was positive though: I would get to see my mom. I would get to be with my mom and my baby sister.

As I walked through the front door I decided to do one thing before I'd go. A revenge of sorts, I'd set flame to everything in my dad's room. All the pictures of mom he looks at everyday and night, every perfume bottle he smells to remind him of my mother. Everything with some sort of value to my dad is in his room; I'm going to burn all of it.

I headed towards the garage figuring by the time he came back this afternoon, everything would be burning and turning into ash and I'd be gone. Gone to a place that he can't touch me. I picked up the can of lighter fluid along with a ten gallon gas can my dad keeps around for the mower and things like that.

I went back to his room and emptied all of it on everything. I went to the kitchen and grabbed some matches. I went back to his room and lit them, one by one, and dropped them about the room; starting farthest from the door and making my way back.

When I closed the door, I could feel the heat of the flames.

I went towards my room, I glanced at the clock: Quarter 'til noon. Gabi, by now, has probably figured out I'm not going to lunch.

I walked to the kitchen and grabbed a knife: the knife my dad originally stabbed me with. I walked to the bathroom and go in the shower. I took the knife and cut deep into four of the crucial veins I remembered learning about in biology.

After a minute, maybe longer, I started to feel light headed. Another minute passed and my lids started to feel heavy. I closed my eyes, the last thing I consciously remember is someone screaming my name before darkness came over me.

**A/N: So what do you think? I know it's long, but I can't decide what I should do after the last part and I couldn't find a good spot to break the story into a diffrent chapter without making it seem like the things dragging on. Thanks for the reviews, any suggestions welcomed! Next part up as soon as I can think of it ( which may just be a while )**

I'm not ending it yet btw!


	4. Chapter 1 Hope

**Hope**

**Chapter One**

**G POV**

As I walk down the street towards Troy's house, I hope that his father isn't there. I knew immediately when he didn't show in third or fourth period something was wrong. His dad, no doubt, beat him.

Six months ago, when I first found out about all of this, I was extremely concerned for his well-being. I'm no expert but something like that happening to you has to have some sort of impact on you mentally right? After about a month, I flat out asked him about that.

_"Troy? Can I ask you something?"_ _I ask very cautiously. _

_He looks at me funny and very hesitantly replies, "Sure."_

_"I just need to know, all the trauma that you go through on a day to day basis has to have some kind of impact on you emoti-" _

_He holds up his hand as if to stop me._

_"I'm not now, nor have I ever been suicidal." He said; his tone completely serious._

Even then, when I only knew him for a few weeks, I realized that I cared for him. If he would have told me yes, I would have done everything in my power to help him.

As I walk up to his house I smell something burning and see smoke coming out one of the windows. I run to the door as fast as possible. Relieved that the doors unlocked I fling it open and run up the stairs two at a time.

I run towards the smoke and open that door. The sudden smoke in my eyes made them water. I start coughing after my first inhale of the fumes. I close the door, hoping he isn't in there and decide to check the other rooms before I totally freak out.

Luckily, the fire didn't seem to have been going to long and the door helped contain it. I stumble in the next room and, from the book bag and unfinished homework on the bed; I know it is Troy's room; he's not in it.

I decide check the third room across the hall from the other bedrooms. If he wasn't it their then I'd have to go into the room with the flames.

What I saw when I opened the door, is something I never want to recall ever again.

I found Troy: unconscious, sitting in a tub of blood. I ran over to him, trying to recall everything I've learned about CPR and first aid. I check for a pulse on his throat, his wrists covered in blood from the deep gashes above them.

It's weak, but it's there. I check to make sure he's breathing: again barely, but it'll have to work until the ambulance arrived. I take out my cell and call for emergency assistance, the whole time wondering what happened.

Time meant nothing to me the rest of the day. I sat in a hard hospital chair placed beside Troy's torso. Beeping machines were lined up all around his head.

The doctors cleaned up and closed up all four deep gashes. They estimated that it was about five minutes from the time he did that to the time I found him.

Five minutes. I can't help but sit here and think that if I would have ran, I would have been able to stop this. If I would have left school during fourth period when I originally wanted to, I could have prevented this from happening. Yet here I am, I didn't because I was five minutes late.

The doctors don't know if he's going to live or not. The amount of blood he lost was fatal. The only silver lining to this whole situation was he didn't cut deep enough to hit the main artery. That's the positive news, I think bitterly, he didn't hit the artery, he still may die but he didn't hit an artery.

I can't cry, not because I don't want to, not because I feel like I need to be strong, I just find myself numb. I don't feel anything, not my hunger, although I must be hungry since my last meal was over twelve hours ago; not the stiffness from sitting in this chair unmoving for god knows how many hours; nothing.

I called my mom and told her I'm going to stay at my friend Taylor's house tonight. I don't want to have to explain why this happened. I don't want her to get worked up about it when Troy may not even live. I told Taylor that my mom thinks I'm staying there. When she asked why I told her that I couldn't say; not yet.

Everything was taken care of so that no one was looking for me. I knew no one was wondering about Troy. His dad was probably throwing a party.

They gave him a lot of blood. One of his IVs was a bag full of it; this was the seventh bag they've given him. He was hooked up to life support. Apparently, even with the blood, his heart was having trouble pumping.

He never stopped breathing so if he did survive his brain would be in tact; If he survived.

I don't know when all of my inner rambling turned into dreaming, but when I got woken up a few hours later, I didn't care.

I woke up to a sound of fast beeping; loud, fast beeping. I watched enough ER to know what that means: it is life or death at this point. The whole medical staff rushed in and kicked me out.

I was glad I was still feeling numb or else I probably would be in a room right now with a serious head wound from passing out.

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think, the only thing I could do was hear that fast beeping and the doctors yelling out orders frantically. Eventually all the beeps seemed to be this one loud long endless beep.

**A/N Stories not over, unless yall want it to be of course (lol), so what'd you think? I'm open to suggestions about where yall want this story to go **

**For me it's between: gabi mourning for a while then taking action by herself or troy surviving through this and them together rising above this which may or may not result in a sequal, but I'm still undecided.**

**Thanks for the reviews, and check out my new story: my life would suck with you, it's going to be a romantic comedy ha, I wonder if I can write those.**

**Anyway please review (or suggest where you want this to go)! Will update as soon as I think up the next chapter**


	5. Chapter 2 Hope

I broke down. I slid down the wall, tears streaming down my face. I couldn't breathe; the world was caving in on me. I felt claustrophobic. I curled into a ball and mourned Troy's death and my failures: my failure to get there faster, my failure to recognize that he might be starting to think about doing this, my failure to help him.

I don't know how long I stayed there curled up in a ball crying, but when a doctor came out of the room and offered my some water, my throat was so dry I couldn't talk.

He got me some water and sat down beside me. After I swallowed a few gulps he told me that Troy made it through that episode.

I should have felt relief; instead I just wanted to cry more. The doctor said this may happen again, and if it does, he would flat-line; if not he'd live.

At that moment I finally understood what Troy always talked about: about how when you reach the point where you lose all hope whatever people say to you, it just goes through you; how once you lose hope you just live because you're afraid there will be more suffering when you die.

After this, I knew that I'd never be the same. Since I saw him in the bathroom covered in blood, I changed. I knew that I'd go back to school, back to my normal routine, but I wouldn't quite be all there.

How could this happen to a good person like Troy? Life isn't fair.

Funny, with Troy a heartbeat away from death, I finally could sympathize and empathize with what he was always telling me.

If only I knew this then, I could have stopped him.

Around noon, a nurse came in to replace his bags. They stopped giving him blood, now they're just giving him fluids. He hasn't had an episode in nine hours and the doctors are hopeful.

I slipped back into my numb state, thankful for it. My stomach growled while the nurse was in the room. She looked up from what she was doing and stared at me. Evidentially what she saw scared her for she lead me towards the cafeteria, made me a plate and sat there and watched me take bites of my food.

Everything was tasteless, but I ate it. On the way back, I caught site of my reflection on the elevator doors. Was that even me? The girl in the mirror had bags under her eyes and was very pale; almost as pale as Troy was when…..

My thoughts trailed off. Knowing that I'd fall into that thought cloud again if I stay still, I stood up and headed outside to call my aunt.

When I hung up I knew she knew, that I was referring to the same guy I was falling for when I called her three months ago.

"Ella? Why are you calling me? Shouldn't you be in class?"

I looked at my watch noting it was two; yeah I should be in my chem. 2 class.

"What's wrong?"

"I need some advice."

"Aunt to niece, friend to friend, or therapist to patient?"

"How about adult to confused child?"  
"What's wrong Ella?"

"My friend's father abused them, my friend is almost eighteen and about to move out and doesn't want to tell anyone, I don't want to lose that friend's trust by telling the authorities but my friend still has a few months at home and I don't want this to happen to my friend anymore, what should I do?"

"Well of course I should say tell someone, but I know that it's never that easy. Your friend is almost eighteen, when's your friend's birthday?"  
"June 17th."

"Well that's still five months away. What do you think you should do?"

"I don't know, my head is telling me to tell someone who can do something about it, but my heart is saying keep quiet and there's something else I can do until his, I mean my friend's graduation, at least."

"Well as a friend and your aunt I'd say go with your heart, let the details work themselves out."

As she said that a plan was formulating in my head.

"Thanks Auntie Danielle!"

"Anytime Ella."

Over the next few days my life at the hospital had a noticeable routine: wake up, eat whatever food they brought me, think, eat lunch, think, eat dinner, sleep. Every night before I fell asleep, and every morning when I woke up I made sure I told him how much he meant to me, how much I loved him. I don't know why I did it, I just did.

Two days later, he woke up.

I wasn't paying attention; I was in deep thought about the same thing I've been thinking about for a week now: what's next if he lives or dies.

I heard a quiet moan; I didn't think anything of it. Then it happened again. I looked up and saw clear blue eyes looking back. I didn't believe it.

He blinked and looked around; I could read the confusion on his face. I buzzed the doctors. A lot of them rushed in, only two stayed. They checked if everything was okay, I guess, and they started to take some of the machines away.

When the doctors left, he turned towards me and said, "I thought you weren't supposed to feel pain in heaven." His voice was hoarse so I couldn't tell if he were joking.

I had a lot I wanted to ask him, but I didn't want to ask when his health was still so fragile. Instead I said, "I missed you," and kissed him.

Within another two days they took out the remainder of the machines, except for the IV. They said he could leave at the end of the week.

The day before we left I decided to ask him.

"Troy?" I was lying with him on the small hospital bed, his arms wrapped around me, both of us watching TV.

"Yeah?"

"What happened?"

That got his attention; he turned the TV off and looked at me.

"My dad finally won, that's what happened. He managed to take you away from me. He turned my free period into another PE, he switched my lunch hour, he signed me up for community service projects that last until eight that night, and last throughout the summer. He threatened to suspend you Gabi, I couldn't let him do that.

"At that point, all my hope was gone; you were my only reason to keep going, by taking you away, that's when I decided.

"Right before I did it, I thought about how much I didn't get to tell you and would never be able to. As I was cutting, I thought about finally being with my mom and sister. That's what made me finish."

Tears were forming in my eyes, but I held them back knowing we needed to talk.

"So now what?" I asked, "I don't want to lose you."

He sighed, "I don't know, but I do know whatever happens, I want you to be there with me. I love you Gabriella Montez"

"And I love you Troy Bolton."

After that we just laid there in each other's arms, each of us thinking about the road ahead.

**A/N sooooooooooo, what do ya think continue or leave on a good closing note? thanks for the support**


	6. Chapter 1 Love

Time is a curious thing. There are 8,765 hours in a year, 730 in a month and 24 in a day. So why is it that we all seem to be at a loss for time? It seems so trivial that a little four letter word like that can define us. Define what we do, what we become. It's just some number on a clock, the same numbers are used for everything else, yet they seem to take on an altogether new meaning when it comes to telling the time of day.

He laughed, thinking about the irony of it all. He'd sworn that after that fatal day in the hospital that he wouldn't let his life be defined by anything other than himself, yet hear he stood, letting another four letter word define him and what his life had become.

Leaving a note on the mahogany night stand, he caught sight of a picture featuring a tall, lanky; rather beat up guy with his arms around a petite brunette. Both were wearing a similar smile, one that seemed to radiate the same the same word: love. The shadow of the mass in the bed that resided next to the night stand came into view. He stood there, slowly taking in all of her features; trying to burn all the little details in to his brain.

He could not do this to her, he could not stay any longer. She deserved so much more than what he could offer her. She deserved someone whole, someone who could give her the moon and the stars and want nothing in return except the warmth of her smile. She deserved someone more than the fragment of him, the one who still wakes up at four in a cold sweat; the one who still needs someone to lean on. No, she deserved someone who could be her rock, instead of a tiny pebble, as he so often felt.

Two months had gone by since he was in the hospital. He didn't leave out any details when they had asked him what made him do what he did. He hid nothing, letting himself be read like an open book, nothing, except what provoked him: his father. Ignoring the look of pity, he told them that he'd simply wanted to be with his mother again. He would firmly clam that all he wanted was to be held again by a mother, to be rocked back and forth and told that everything would work out, in the end.

As soon as he was strong enough, they had sent him to a psychiatrist, where he was assigned a nurse after the first meeting. Being that he refused to bring his father in to this case, he stuck to his story and was told, indirectly, that from then on he was not allowed alone. Nothing he said could convince them that he was not suicidal, or as they liked to say 'fragile'. He had simply given up after a week of futile attempts. His nurse would only leave him when he had visitors, mainly one visitor.

Gabi had been an angel, she had stopped all the rumors going around school, replacing it with a new one of her own: he'd ran away, and has yet to be found. No one felt the need to start a search party, it had been two days after the incident when she formed the cover story, everyone just assumed that he had money and a car, for all they knew he could be half way across country. Fear of his father kept the rest at bay.

According to Gabi, his dad had a cover story of his own accord: he was distraught, but claimed that with Troy being eighteen, he had to let him go; stating that if Troy wanted to be a man, well who was he to stop him? Few were weary of his reply, but none said much. It wasn't their job to teach others how to parent a child.

To this day he still hadn't said a word about his father, whenever asked he had taken to shrugging and changing the topic. The day he was released, he had simply said that he was eighteen now, and therefore it was up to him to choose his place of residence. The nurse had looked wary as he said this, but had no other choice than to sign him off. He had gotten rid of his 'babysitter' with the help of Gabi and her mother, both insisting they'd keep a watch on him while he lived with them. When asked how long that would be, he smiled at Ms. Montez's reply: as long as he dang well pleased.

His heart had swelled, he never in a million years thought they'd let him live with them. He had figured that, only meeting Ms. Montez twice before the incident, he'd be far too much a stranger for such accommodations. He had never experienced a love such as that one, an all-trusting, all-encompassing love, in a long while; he had excused himself to the restroom, eyes welling up with tears, where he had got a hold of his emotions before he had presented himself before the Montez's again, thanking them repetitively.

They had given him the spare room across the hall from Gabi's. It had been used to store old school projects, Christmas decorations, and a few other things that they may need throughout the year. When they had moved all the boxes to the attic, he had discovered it to be almost the same size as his previous room. Ms. Montez had caught him standing in the room, with an awestruck look on his face, and asked him what color he had wanted it to be. He broke at that moment; the tide of emotions he had been pushing away had seeped to the surface.

Coming back to the present, he realized he had started daydreaming; his hand was motionless on her shoulder. She started to stir, his heart leapt to his throat, the good-bye he had so badly wanted to say, stuck in his throat forever more. He bolted out of her room, and made to make one last pass of his bedroom, with its brightly colored walls, but thought better of it.

Going down the stairs, as quietly and quickly as he could, he forced himself not to look at the pictures that lined the walls. The ones with the girl he so dearly loved, the ones of the mother who had been an angel in disguise, and finally, the giant one at the bottom of the stairs; the one with all three of them, carless and happy, in front of the house, Gabi's golden retriever in front of them.

He swallowed the lump that came to his throat, and then stormed out of the door, making sure as to not wake any one up. The second he got outside, not really sure entirely why, he started to run. The pain in his legs from the particularly deep cuts he had made, only served as a catalyst, making him go faster.

Time did not matter anymore to him. Pain did not matter to him; hope, love, fear, nothing mattered except the path in front of him. He ran until the sun came up, arriving at his destination, he sat down on the nearest bench and took in large gasps of air.

Looking around, he found that he had run to a children's park. He sighed, got up, and made his way to a nearby tree. After searching around its roots for few moments, he finally sat down. He knew this tree. He had buried his pet turtle Larry under this tree. He had been real distraught the day Larry died; he had been a Christmas gift from his mother. He recalled the day he had to bury him, remembering that innocent four year old boy, whose biggest worry in life was what he'd do know that he'd lost everyone he'd loved so dearly.

So deep in thought, he didn't realize there was now a shadow cast over where he sat. When something tapped him on the shoulder, he shuddered, heart going to his throat, thinking the worst. He cautiously turned around and saw he had nothing to be worried about. Well mostly.

It was her.

"Troy Bolton, would you care to explain why you liked to have given my mother and me a heart attack?" He knew she was joking but it did not help the guilt that was boiling inside of him.

He never lied to her, ever. That was one of the many reasons he had fallen so hard for her, she accepted him for face value, not for the smoke and mirrors that everyone else accepts. He considered starting to now, but could not make himself do it. So he told her the truth.

"I'm no good for you Gabi. I am broken, so much so that I'm surprised that there's anything left of me for you to distinguish. You deserve so much more than the mangled, forgotten, shadow of a person that I am today. You're my angel, and I'm afraid that there will come a day where you'll need someone to be your angel. I can't be that for you, I can't be the rock you need. It frightens me to think of having kids, having a family. I can tell you want kids, or you will want kids, and I just can't. You need someone who can provide everything you want and need."

He made to leave, not wanting to look at her face, or hear her accept the facts, but something stood in the way: Ms. Montez. She didn't say anything, simply pointed at Gabi. He understood the meaning well enough, so he turned around, readying himself to face her rejection.

It did not come; instead he found a mass of brunette hair flying at him, hugging him so tight he couldn't breathe. Before he knew it, there lips met. She was kissing him in a way she never had before, as if in not doing so she would die. He found himself responding to her, knowing that it will only be that much harder to say good-bye. Suddenly she pulled away and slapped him.

"You are an idiot! You have just spent the last fourteen years of your life being a human punching bag and you're saying you're not strong? Troy, if anything, I'm the one who isn't good enough for you! I have been broken inside ever since the day I saw you in the shower, every time I see you I feel like bursting in tears because you're still here; every night before I fall asleep and every morning before I get out of bed I have to remind myself that you're alive and okay. Troy, you are the strongest person I have ever met, you're more than just my rock, you're my boulder," she laughed at her bad metaphor. "I can't imagine having any semblance of a life without you. I love you, so much it hurts…"

She caught his head in her hands and made him look her in the eyes. "I. love. You."

Suddenly the thought of him leaving her shattered before his eyes. He couldn't fathom trying to make himself leave. So he did the only thing he could do, he kissed her. He kissed her with all the he had, hoping to convey every unsaid word of thanks and love in that one kiss.

Breaking apart, he smiled, "I love you, too Gabi."

The last thought he had before he walked with her back to the car Ms. Montez was patiently waiting in was of love; how maybe it wasn't so bad to be defined by a simple four letter word.

**A.N so I am extremely happy with how I wound up being to end this. This story has a lot of meaning to me, and finishing it, after all the years, was hard for me to do. I had to dig into a deeper side of me to try to convey the emotions at the beginning correctly. Ending it on a happy note was of great importance to me, and I hope you agree with me. **

**So what did you think of this chapter? of this story? I love getting feedback so please do not hesitate to praise or criticize!**

**Thank you!**


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